Why must all these happen. I'd rather have not experienced it at all, so i won't have this longing feeling to be this happy ever. To have such a high expectation in a girl. Cos having this experience just makes me crave for things that are just not possible. I thought i stood a chance. But i guess i didn't stand much chance from the beginning.

I don' know what i'm feeling. It's all just numb now. I don't know whether to be angry, or sad, or disappointed, or happy or whatever. Just numb. Cos i'm just tired of the same thing happening to me over and over and its just tiring to be ____.

I guess i can only treasure the moments and bear with not having those kind of feelings for god knows how long.

Why is it always that only when i'm hurt, physically, mentally or emotionally, i look for God? And that when things are doing good, i tend to forget about The Almighty. I guess i deserve whatever i get; maybe it serves as a reminder, that no matter what, the one that i can turn to is God and God will always love us like no human can. Subhanallah.

Back to square one. Now its my turn to have a phobia. I think i'll be alone for awhile. A loooong while. Now thats an oxymoron. Summer's gone, Autumn's gone, guess i'll be facing the long cold winter alone. I thank God for having my close friends. I'll try to be the normal optimistic person that i usually am. And like i said, i'll be around. Till then.

Hanging There...
4:30 PM