Saturday
25 December 2004

Went to airport to study wif Godzillah,Saj & Fiha. Godzillah told to meet at 11am. So i was there quite on time. And then had to wait about an hour for the Godzillah & Saj to come. KNN. Wait so long. Haha. Anyways, because Godzilah was late, my breakfast cum lunch was on her. Thanks man! Wakakakaka. So we started studying after eating at the canteen in T2. Fiha came late, & was the earliest to go. So, through the afternoon, we studied. Well, not really. Haha. Saj was in no mood to study. And i just can't concentrate for too long. So we ended up chatting. At about 5pm, we went to the viewing mall at T1, and chatted for a while. Then we went back to T2 to eat at BK. Godzillah was reluctant. I wonder why. Wakakakakakaka. Anyways, i went home after that. Quite a relaxing day.

Sunday
26 December 2004

Went to meet Bashfurk & Bullu at Bedok interchange. Then ASP came. Took a bus to Simei. Bashfurk & Co. were going to jam, & i was the photographer of the day. Wakakakakaka. Met Fariz & Syed at the jamming place. Finished at about four. Bullu,Syed & ASP left. Bashfurk, Fariz & me went to Peninsula because Fariz wanted to buy a pair of street soccer shoes. Argh so many thing that i wanna buy, but unfortunately i have absolutely no money to spend. Can't wait for the sem holiday to work. Fariz bought this Nike Luvas shoes. Damn nice. I feel like buying a pair for myself next time. Headed home after that.

Tuesday
28 December 2004

And so, here i am today, in the library. School just finished just now, and i'm intending to study before going for climbing for a while.

Came to school at 11am yesterday because there was no Biochem lab. Went for rock climbing as usual yesterday. There was PT because it was raining outside and group1 have to use the rock gym too. So we were in the rock gym while they were doing PT, & vice versa. I'm not tired at all from the PT, but my arms are dead man! Haha.

I dunno whats happening to me man. I'm feelingless. Ok lah i'm not. Who in the world doesn't have feelings. But i dunno what i'm feeling. Maybe i'll continue next few month. I dunno. Shit man. I need to get a grip on myself..

Hanging There...
5:11 PM

Well yesterday i skipped my CDS lecture to play soccer. Played at the court beside the basketball court, with Bashfurk, ASP & the rest. We played until about 6pm plus. Then some Young Lions, like Syed Fadhil, came to play. Cool man. damn they were good. So full of fanciful footwork. I played against them. Damn fun man. I wish i could stay longer, but i had to go off by 7.15pm. Hopefully they'll play here again some other day.

Niwaes, i skipped the first two lectures for today, which is Biochem, from 8am-10am. Too tired to wake up. Slept till 9am plus. Then went for Edevice lab at 10am. It ended early at 11.30am, so i went home to eat. Unfortunately there wasn't any food on the kitchen table, so i cooked maggi mee. Went to solat Jumaat at Istighfar. went back to school after that. Studied Edevice at block 11 bench from 3.30pm-5pm. Then Godzillah & her friend Saj came. They asked me for a favour that is to take care of their bag while they go jogging. Dunno why out of the blues they wanted to jog. So being the nice guy that i am(ehem2), i took their bags. I went to meet Yan & co to play soccer at the court by the baskeball court. Then Godzillah & Saj came to the court at about 7pm. Saj got whacked in the face with a ball by Hairil. Haha. Kesian.I went straight home after soccer. Needed sometime for myself. Waited for the freaking bus no. 15 for 40 mins from 8.10pm-8.50pm. KNN. So bloody long. I lied down on the seat. Could have taken a nap man. Going to study again tmr. Need to buck up in my studies. Till then, taking care. Adios.

*It's going to be harder then i thought it would be..*

Hanging There...
11:52 PM

Anyways, feelings aside, i guess i'm ok. I'll start on Mon. Went for climbing, on time this time, because my CDS ended early. Climb a bit only pump already. I'm weak man. Yesterday there was an internal climbing competition at the rock gym, & tryouts at the rockwall. I kept going from the gym to the wall & vice versa, because 3 of my friends were at the tryouts. And they signed up for climbing. Yeah man. The more the merrier. As for the comp, i completed 2 out of 3 routes. Damn. The first two routes looks scary but in the end it was ok, i managed to finish it on my first attempt. But the last route, darn man. After trying two time, when time was up, then i realise there was an easier way to overcome the route. Damn! But it was ok. Somehow i got third because Wakrak was not counted as a freshy, and also because Boon Sheng & Dane weren't there. If they were there, i wouldn't have gotten third. Wakakakakakaka. Anyways, earlier that day, something funny happened sia. Me & Bashfurk were exiting the library. Both of us walked through the sensors & stopped there, & made the alarm sounds, and laughing away. Then suddenly the alarm really went off. Haha. Both of us were laughing our heads off man. Haha. It was damn stupid man. Anyways, i'm skipping a lecture right now to write these two entries. I got no mood to study for now. But i'll go for the next lecture. Till then, taking care. Adios.

Hanging There...
2:22 PM

Haiz. This is it i guess. I'll stop today, right now. I'm feeling like one big pile of insignificant piece of crap. I'll have to try to let go of you. It's gonna be a bit difficult because i still have lots of feelings for you. But to bad the feeling's not mutual. After all this time. I guess i was being too hopeful, even when its hopeless. Haiz. To you there was a barrier from the beginning, till now, and i'd say till forever. So all i can do is let go and move on. Life goes on no matter what. I'll just cherish all the moments i spent with you. You'll still be that special girl to me.

Hanging There...
2:09 PM

Played in the Director's Cup 7-aside Soccer Tournament. My team consists of Khai, Rino, Yan, Irzad, Boy, Idam, Naseer, CheyT, Jang & of course, me. Played our first match yesterday after Fri prayers. Waiting so long in the blazing hot sun for our match. Played against some year 1 students. Two of them are my friends. Won 2-0. CheyT Scored both goals, & scored the fastest goal; within 20 seconds after kickoff. I played for 5 minutes only out of the 15 match. =( But the team won, & that's what matters the most. Went to play more soccer with White, CheyT, Maha-mat, Boy, Idam,Khai & Rino at a street soccer court. Some teens playing for local clubs were playing there. Damn they were good. And funny too. Went home after that.

Played the next two matches just now. It's like playing in the Tiger Cup. Haha. Played against some players from Myanmar, and the other team, China. Won the first match against Myanmar 1-0. Irzad got lucky when his long clearence bounced over the keeper into the goalpost for the winning goal. Bad anticipation from the keeper man. Played against China after that. Won 3-0. Idam, Boy & Irzad scored. Idam wasted no chance and scored when the ball came to his feet after our freekick. Boy scored the second goal, & Irzad wrapped things up with a goal from the penalty spot. I got into a bit of tussle when i raised my leg a bit to high against one of the opponents. And that player retaliated by blocking the ball away from me while pulling my shorts in the groin area. WTF man. And he gripped my shorts for a few seconds. Luckily its only my shorts, not my nuts man. I was pissed, but managed to cool down, but Irzad came over & argued. Luckily we were not penalised. And after that, the China team just walked of the pitch. So we got through to the semi finals! Wakakakakaka. It's gonna be held on the 8th of Jan. 3 weeks from now. I'm hopeful for an early birthday gift, which is a trophy for first placing. Wakakakaka. InsyaAllah.

Anyways, i played for only 4 minutes & 5 minutes for the two games today respectively. I wish i can play longer. Its rather frustrating to be at the sidelines, even though the team is winning. I've faced this situation so many times, with other teams i played for. Shit man. It's just so damn frustrating. Haiz. But what to do when you're just a fringe player in any team. The important thing is the team wins..

Hanging There...
6:14 PM

By: Matchbook Romance

Title: Tiger Lily


We drive tonight,
And you are by my side.
We're talking about our lives,
Like we've known each other forever.
The time flies by,with the sound of your voice.
Its close to paradise,with the end surely near.
And if i could only stop the car and hold onto you,
And never let go (and never let go)
I'll never let go (i'll never let go)
As we round the corner to your house
You turned to me and said,
"I'll be going through withdrawal of you for this one night we have spent."
And, i want to speak these words
But i guess i'll just bite my tongue,
And accept "someday, somehow"
As the words that we'll hang from.

And i, i don't want to speak these words.
Cause i, i don't want to make things any worse.

Why does tonight, have to end?
Why don't we hit restart,
And pause it at our favorite parts.
We'll skip the goodbyes.
If i had it my way,i'd turn the car around and runaway,
Just you and i.

And i, i don't want to speak these words.
Cause i, i don't want to make things any worse.
And i, i don't want to speak these words
Cause i, i don't want to make things
And i, i don't want to make things any worse

Hanging There...
5:55 PM

I'll start off on Tues. Ended early at 3pm that day cos there was no TCS lesson. Went to buy a second hand Sony Ericsson Z600 at Tampines Interchange for $100. Traded in my N3200. Finally, a new phone. Yahoo! Not really used to Sony Ericsson, but i thought i'd just give it a try. Anyways, went to meet Bashfurk, ASP, Ria, Buk & Aini at Short Circuit at 5pm. Then meet Fariz, Fak, Khalid outside Engin block. So all of us went to the FOC briefing at an LT at Design shool. Met Godzillah, Rufi-o & some other friends there. But the briefing started late, and the guys were restless. So they left, & i was undecided. I followd them out, but changed my mind halfway & went back to the LT. I wanna become a GL for the FOC. Wakakakakakaka. Aniways, went to solat after that. Then Godzillah, Rufi-o & me went to rock gym. The guys there were spring cleaning the gym. I just stayed outside the gym & played soccer. Wakakakaka. Then the 3 of us left for the library, where Godzillah met her friend & left. So me & Rufi studied at the bench outside library. Damn relaxing. The night wind was chilling & refreshing. Covered chapter 3 of E. Maths2. Rufi left first. After a while i headed home.

Ended at 1pm on Wed. Went to design canteen with my friends before going to Tamp interchange with ASP. Went back to school to the library to study. Bumped into my classmates there. Didn't really have the mood to study, so just practically slacked in the library till 4pm. Bumped into you there too. Went to solat then went back to the library to use the comp. Then finally at 5.30pm met up with Yan & co. Went to sports hall to met the others. Played badminton for a while with Uncle Jeep. He's quite a decent player. Haha. Went to play soccer at the court beside basketball court till 8.10pm. Went for climbing after that. Tired man. Anyways, my home phoneline was cut yesterday. My father didn't pay the bill. A bit of money constraints for the time being i guess. Can't make any calls from home for the time being.

And here i am today in the library. Having my break now. I'm feeling fine. Haha. A bit sleepy though. Fell asleep during Edevice tutorial till the teacher has to wake me up. Wakakakaka. Gotta go back for lessons. Till then, Adios. Taking care.

Hanging There...
11:50 AM

School was ok just now. Went for rock climbing at 7pm. Quite organised i must say. Hope we can keep up with this sort of training session. Had a talk with you after climbing. Finally, after all this time, you opened up your feelings. I guess it did made me feel better now that i know what is going through your mind. I guess you still need loads of time. I'll try not to be so emotional & having mood swings(no not PMS ok). Haiz. All i can do is wait. I really wish its going to be worthwhile waiting.

Hanging There...
11:29 PM

I can't believe it man. I actually seriously studied after school on Wed & Fri, 2 hours on each day. Great man. I hope i'll still study like this for the weeks to come.

On Thurs, there was a mass meeting for climbers. I came late because of my CDS. The room was packed; almost everyone was present. So some of the climbers let out their feelings & comments. Wanted to go home after that, but somehow i followed Rufi-o, Godzillah, Shift_KOSONG & Wakrak to rock gym. Ended up climbing. Went for bubble tea as usual after that.

Went for my first NE yesterday with Fariz. Slept through the NE except for the last few minutes of the Q & A part. Haha. Need to go for one more NE.

Just reached home at about 5.10am just now. Went cycling with Shift_KOSONG, Ahmayat, Maha-mat & Dane. Went out at 10.30pm. Met up with Ahmayat & Shift_KOSONG before meeting the other two at TP. Cycled all the way to a supposed haunted house at Punggol. Went into the area, but the doors of the house was boarded up; no way in for us. What a disappointment. Went to Hougang to lepak for a while before cycling home. Damn sleepy man now. I wanna get some sleep.

Oh ya. I changed my layout to suit my feelings. Been feeling emo these few weeks, so i put up that pic of me up there. I still prefer the previous one though; i'll change back to the previous one some other day. This one is rather simple, but neat. So,time to sleep. Adios.

Hanging There...
6:20 AM

First day of school yesterday was ok. Bought my books using General's money. Finally met up with Bashfurk. I missed you! Wakakakakakakaka. His hair is just like first day of last sem. I see people with new shirt, new bag, new jacket, new etcetc. I'm envious man. I wanna go shopping! Wakakakakakaka. No money man. A lot of the lessons today was short. E. Maths 2 lec is fun. Haha. We were sitting at the front row right under the lecturer's nose laughing away, not paying attention to him. Haha. And so many people taking E. Maths 2. The LT was damn packed man. Went for climbing in the evening, as usual.

Today was fun man. Haha. Especially during my two lectures in the afternoon. Bashfurk, ASP & me were acting like lunatics man. Haha. Crazy. Running from Engin School to ITAS to solat and then ran back to Engin school. Haha. Running up & down staircases. Bashfurk seems to be in lunatic mode. Haha. Fun man. Anyways, had a soccer match after my school ends, at Carpark C. Lost again. This team was also strong. At least i scored a consolation goal. Its good to play against difficult teams. Helps to improve your skills. That's it for this entry. Till then, Adios.

Hanging There...
11:15 PM

What a tiring day. Played soccer for a while at Melville Park Condo with Alex the Gay & Co. Then met my friend Taufik to go to my Ustaza's wedding as kendarat. Damn slack actually. Not much work to be done. Then at 6pm played soccer at Town Park.

School starts tomorrow! Haha. Been looking forward to it actually. So many things to do in school. And Mondays is the longest school day for me. 8am-7pm. Great huh. Looking forward to climbing tomorrow too. I'm making an early new year resolution, that is to do revision every week for all my subjects. Can't afford to slack. Can't afford to procrastinate. Need to hit the grades. So, not skipping lectures n tutorials and constant revision is a must. So, i will try my best to revise regularly & not skip lectures. InsyaAllah. Haha. See you all in school!

Hanging There...
11:50 PM

Finally staying home for the day today. Been going out every single day this week. Went for hari raya with my sec school mates on thurs. Last house is the most entertaining. Haha. Kesian Mizi. Went out with my sec school chinese friends yesterday evening. Stephan is still gaying around as usual. And David is still..well..David. Bragging about his 'solo Ronaldo goals' all the time. Haha.

Went online till 1am last night. Went to bed after that, but at 2.30am i'm still tossing & turning in bed. Can't sleep. My insecurities is keeping me awake. Sometimes i feel like giving up, but everytime i feel that, Aush's words just pop up in my mind and i would feel ok. But last night, i was thinking through everything. Thinking too much. I feel like i'm chasing a dream. Chasing something that is impossible to get. Haiz. And when i was finally about to fall asleep, mosquitoes were having a buffet. My leg was itching here and there. And at 4am i'm still awake. Dunno when i finally fell asleep. Almost didn't wake up for subuh. Slept straight till 1.30pm. And now just slacking at home. I guess its back to square one when school reopens.

"jgnla ade perkataan putus asa dlm kamus ko tu"~ I'll always keep this in mind.

Hanging There...
3:28 PM

Went to rock gym yesterday afternoon. There was only 6 of us. Climb a bit only my arm pump already sia. So long never climb.

Today was tiring man. Had a soccer match in the morning. Lost the match badly. Worst loss ever for me. But its ok. A match lost is experience & lesson gained. Maybe i'll organise a rematch some day. Haha. Then at noon went for hari raya with my kelas ugama friends. Went to 6 houses. Apa sak Fahmy & Yan last minute tak boleh. Rabak. Tak mengapa. Kat rumah Ustazah paling best. Haha. 3 unknown kids just knock and entered. Haha.In the evening went to Coral to watch a musical. Great performance. Took a lot of pics after the musical in the school hall. Haha. Then ate at McD. And now watching C.S.I. One of my favourite shows man. K ah. Wanna watch the show and sleep straight after that. So tired. I need a rest.

Hanging There...
11:46 PM