Well, highlight for today at work was that i went down to canteen during break at 10am to buy food and realized i have no cash in my wallet, so Zul said there is maggi in our cupboard. So i took my container and boiled the maggi. After walking all the way to the other end of the floor to get hot water cos the water cooler beside my office wasn't working, i decided to just it eat in my office cos i was lazy to go down to canteen. As i was transferring the container to my other hand so i can take my pass, i dropped the container. Whoopdeedo. Mangkuk betul. The maggi half-spilled over the doormat. I had to clean the floor and the doormat and throw away my breakfast. Argh! Oh well. Life goes on. Heh.

On another note, Sunday was a good day. Went to Sim Lim with her to get her laptop repaired, and after much surveying, we chose this particular shop to repair it. It took some time for the laptop to get repaired, so we went to eat then watched New Moon. Nice movie, and i'm inspired to work out even more. Haha.

In the evening, went to meet Kaz, Zulie, Nizal and Shahril. Watched Ninja Assasin at 8.30pm. Was enjoying the day till i forgot i was working that night. At 9.40, Zul called and asked where i was. Haha. Was kanchiong for a moment. Then i told him i'll be late. Heh. Reached Siglap NTUC at 10.40 after the movie. Was done by 1.30am.

Well, tonight is the second last night of working with Wincor, as the project is ending tmr. There goes my source of income. Hope they have another project which runs at night. Till then.

Hanging There...
8:08 PM

Well i have to blog about this. Cos its a totally new experience for me. Can strike this one off the list. Heh.

Reached Mjd Kassim at 8am. Nadz was supposed to come, but he hasn't reached, so he asked his friend to find me. So had breakfast straight away before starting. My 'department' is in charge of capture and holding down the goat for the slaughter. So i learnt how to do that. Grab the hind legs, then another person grab the front legs, turn it upside down and carry it out. Quite easy actually, except for the carrying of the heavier goats. Heh. I got to do two things; capture and carrying the goat, and holding up the head during the slaughter.

Its amazing that the goats seem to know they are gonna meet their death. The way they pee and shit while we're holding it down to wait for their turn. Blood gushes out when the big knife slices its throat, exposing whatever organs in the neck; the trachea, veins, whatever. As the blood gushes out, so does the pee. And finally it will give one last grunt of breath as its life ends. Even when we lay it out after slaughtering, with its last drops of blood dripping out, some of the lifeless goats still squirms and have seizures.

Its kind of an eye opener. We take it for granted when we buy meat products from the wet market or supermarket. Now i kinda experienced it first hand behind the scenes. Butchery is definitely not my thing. Heh.

In the end Nadz didn't come. Ironic, cos he's the want who asked me along, and he didn't turn up. And damn goat balls are big and dangling like a christmas decoration. Haha. No wonder theyy call the plant horny goat weed, after a goat. Haha.

It also made me realize how shallow my knowledge of korban is. Yeah yeah we all know the story behind it; bout how Prophet Ibrahim got the dream to slaughter his son and stuff, but the thing is, its just that. A story. To find the true meaning and understand the whole concept of korban and Haj. I really need to read up or smth. The slaughtering process from goat to meat, the difference between slaughtering for korban or for aqiqah, the true meaning of korban; there's so many things i need to learn.

Well whatever it is, it was a good experience. I'll definitely help out again next year if i have the time.

Went to play soccer at Pasir Ris Pri, since all other pri school fields are closed till mid Jan. Packed with ppl, but i guess i'm gonna be a regular there. Just need to come early to have more time to play. Heh.

Till then. I do. I'd be insane if i didn't. I may be crazy or lame at times, but i'm not insane. Heh.

Hanging There...
11:19 PM

Why must all these happen. I'd rather have not experienced it at all, so i won't have this longing feeling to be this happy ever. To have such a high expectation in a girl. Cos having this experience just makes me crave for things that are just not possible. I thought i stood a chance. But i guess i didn't stand much chance from the beginning.

I don' know what i'm feeling. It's all just numb now. I don't know whether to be angry, or sad, or disappointed, or happy or whatever. Just numb. Cos i'm just tired of the same thing happening to me over and over and its just tiring to be ____.

I guess i can only treasure the moments and bear with not having those kind of feelings for god knows how long.

Why is it always that only when i'm hurt, physically, mentally or emotionally, i look for God? And that when things are doing good, i tend to forget about The Almighty. I guess i deserve whatever i get; maybe it serves as a reminder, that no matter what, the one that i can turn to is God and God will always love us like no human can. Subhanallah.

Back to square one. Now its my turn to have a phobia. I think i'll be alone for awhile. A loooong while. Now thats an oxymoron. Summer's gone, Autumn's gone, guess i'll be facing the long cold winter alone. I thank God for having my close friends. I'll try to be the normal optimistic person that i usually am. And like i said, i'll be around. Till then.

Hanging There...
4:30 PM

Well. Its been work. Morning. Night. Sleep in office. Stuff like that. Went to Kak Su's chalet last Mon at Sentosa. Watched Kumar's Night at Hard Rock. That was funny. Heh. One day i wanna watch it again.

Well, life's alright. Sometimes things happen for a reason, and sometimes some things are just too good to be true.

I wanna plan for the future, and at the same time face my life one day at a time. Is that an oxymoron-like phrase?

Life's short, they say live life to the fullest and enjoy it. But it seems like there's never enough time. So i guess i'll just have to treasure whatever precious moments i had so far. Friends. Family.

Whats up with these random thoughts. ?_?

Gotta get to work.

I love the song Time after Time by Eva Cassidy.

Hanging There...
9:35 PM

Well been wanting to update for awhile, but as usual, was busy and procrastination is something that i can only reduce and not totally kick out of my system. Heh.

A lot has happened within the last entry date till today. Let me try to recall and summarise;

11-17 Oct - Basically it was mostly office during the day and NTUC work during the night. And ADO duty and stand-by for NTUC.

18 Oct - Helped out in Wan Tiger's event. Some CDC walk for the elderlies. Siti, Adi, Halim, Faezan was there too. Nisa met up with us after the event.

19-23 Oct - Again, mostly in office during the day and NTUC during the night.

24 Oct - Had EFI refresher course. I've forgotten most of the procedures. Heh. It was a good revision.

28-30 Oct - Did Chongfu Pri under Trekkers at Mount Ophir campsite. Its the first time i've been there. Fun! Though i missed someone.

31 Oct - Helped out in the silent mobilisation for reservists at STN 21.

5-7 Nov - Did Bedok View Sec under Synergy Dynamics at Kota Tinggi Adventure Centre. Suuper fun. The camp chief was good and funny. Someone very different from other camp chief. I like his style. Heh. The camp was fun! Though i missed someone. Again. =)

And among these past weeks, i cleared pracs 1 and 2 of Class 2 and BTT. And i got to know someone. Someone totally fresh.

For once, these few weeks have been a turning point for me. After a long while, i'm actually happy with the way things are now. Finally i'm financially stable, at least till the end of the year. I did 2 camps at new places. Things are going great for the present moment, which suddenly got me thinking about the future.

Planning and considering my options on what i'm gonna do after i ORD.

For the time being, i think its a good thing i wake up in the morning smiling (as told by my mother). Heh.

Till then, auttumn's here. =)

Hanging There...
1:08 AM