Todays the Director's Cup Finals. Woke early to reach there on time. Wasted my time. Should have just come at 12.3opm during the final match or don't come at all. Didn't get to play in the first two matches of the day. Of the whole 85 minutes of game, i played only about 20 minutes, all as substitute. It sucks not to play. The team won, but i don't earn it at all. There's no glory for me that the team wins the final, because i played so little that my contribution is insignificant. It just sucks big time. I don't want the prize, though i can use the cash prize. But i don't deserve it at all. I dunno why i still watched the final match in spite of myself. I'm happy the team won, but i'm unhappy i don't get to play so much.

It really sucks to be a fringe player. It fucking sucks. Faced it so many times before. When you play, it doesn't matter if you make good passes or good shots or have high work rate. It doesn't fucking matters. They will only see your mistakes. Your inaccurate passes or lousy teamwork. That's all that they will see. If the other players do mistakes, nobody says anything, maybe just encourage a bit. But when the fringe player makes a mistake, most players will have something to say. I'm so fucking frustrated with this. Haiz. Its been like this all the time for me. ARGH! So pissed man. I'm gonna form my own team for the next Director's Cup, i think there should be at the end of this year. Then i'll get to play. Haiz. I need to cool down.

Hanging There...
5:35 PM